Aries (21 March – 19 April) As chairman of the “Salt of the Earth” Appreciation Society, you have reduced Ireland to a map of the Greater Dublin Area in the minds of many…too many.   Taurus (20 April – 20 May) As treasurer of the “Spectre Hunter” Ghost Hunting Society, you will acquire a haunted face from the fairies on an excursion to some ruin or other this week. Having disturbed the magicked topsoil with your equipment, your vacuous chasm of a mouth will be cursed to play host to a sprite named O’ Meara. His [...]

 Aries (21 March – 19 April) Intriguingly uninteresting. Taurus (20 April – 20 May) Sanguinely bloodless. Gemini (21 May – 20 June) Contraceptively contradictory. Cancer (21 June – 21 July) Impervious to lecturing, dogged towards tutoring and ironclad against seminar-ing      and/or workshopping. Leo (22 July – 22 August) An onyx-hearted clump of academia.  Virgo (23 August – 22 September) A demon of academia (or a daemon of acadaemia, since you’re studying 12th century English poetry). Libra (23 September – 22 October) A clatter of mortarboards. Scorpio (23 October – 21 November) A scratching of motherboards, as [...]

  Aries (21 March – 19 April) Aries, Aries, quite contrary…     Taurus (20 April – 20 May) Your learning style resembles a crude mortar and pestle – an educational gruel.     Gemini (21 May – 20 June) An antagonistic pair all on your own, much like UCD and DCU.       Cancer (21 June – 21 July) A glob of animal dander in the library’s throat.       Leo (22 July – 22 August) An overstretched addendum in the “Student Life” section of Waterford IT’s [...]

  Aries (21 March –19 April) Falsely optimistic.     Taurus (20 April – 20 May) Changed, for the worse, by feelings of a New Year’s rebirth.     Gemini (21 May – 20 June) Active-aggressive.       Cancer (21 June – 21 July)  Limited by ambition.   Leo ( 22 July- 22 August) Stop dropping glass out of your flat window. The little people will reanimate these post-Christmas-revelry fragments into a horrific conglomerate called “an fear gloine”. You will hear the crash and tinkle of his broken limbs on the [...]

  Aries (21 March –19 April) Relentlessly bookish. Fa la la la la, la la la la…       Taurus (20 April – 20 May) Buoyant and lofty and a partridge in a pear tree.       Gemini (21 May – 20 June) Egotistically altruistic. Decking those halls for nobody but yourself.     Cancer (21 June – 21 July) You have had a phantom limb  (limbhbh na síoga) all your life  that twists thrice around the world. It has made you do terrible, terrible things the far side of the International Date Line. [...]